Little Miss.

So the next four days are supposed to be the busiest days of my semester. I have a Knot Theory open problem paper due on Tuesday, along with all the homework I did during the whole semester (cough). I have my final 15 page paper for Globalization and Its Discontents due on Thursday (I can’t tell you how happy I will be once that class is over. forever!). Also, on Thursday, I have to turn in my take home portion of my Algebra final AND take the in-class portion.


Ew. That’s a lot of crap I have to do.


But right now, today, I can’t bring myself to care. All I can think about it going home. All I can think about is my hour and a half drive to Winter break; glorious, wonderful, magnificent break.

I checked out of this semester sometime last week, and I just need to persevere so I can go on a date with my dad on Friday. I need to stick with these last few assignments, kick their butt, and rock out the next four days so I can enjoy my break and know that I gave it everything I have.

But let me tell you…it’s really stinking hard. My mind is a wondering spaz today.

Right now I have “Little Miss” by Sugarland playing on repeat on iTunes. Have you ever listened to that song? You should. It’s worth 4 minutes and 31 seconds of your time. I promise.

Little miss, hide your scars.
Little miss, who you are is so much more than you like to talk about…

For the past 4 months, I’ve been hiding my scars. And let me tell you: I’ve gotten pretty darn good at it—a real pro. While I’m stronger, more confident, and happier than I ever have been, there are some days when I feel like a puddle; days in which I would have no problem throwing a glass of ice cold water on a certain someone’s face—days where I feel small and alone(and it’s hard for my husky self to feel small). Those days are far and few between, but they still pop up. Those days are yet to be nonexistent.

But if you keep listening to the song, you will see (like in most country songs) that there’s hope.

Little miss, brand new start.
Little miss, do your part.
Little miss, big old heart beats wide open; she’s ready now for love…

It’s inspiring. It reminds me that the “right now” is just that: Right Now. Who knows where I’ll be this time next year. Heck, who knows what I’ll be doing this time next week.

What I do know: Expect the unexpected.


I experienced something horrible this year, something which I wouldn’t even wish on my worst enemy (if I had one of those). But this year has turned out to be the best year of my life. Expect the unexpected.

I was more terrified and more nervous to start playing field hockey again after not playing it—at all—for four years. But I became the starting goalie and, at one point, the 20th best goalie in the country. Expect the unexpected.

I was horrified about meeting 20 new girls—girls that had already become a team, and I was supposed to just jump in. But I got to help create a family and I gained 21 new sisters—sisters that voted me “Most Inspiring Player”. Expect the unexpected.


If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that not only am I one of the luckiest girls (read: young woman) on the face of this planet, but I can get through some pretty deep, heavy stuff. I can persevere. I can push through. And I can come out on the other side a better, stronger, happier person.

So I’m going to go back to writing my Knot Theory paper. I’m going to continue to listen to this song on repeat. My mind is going to keep wondering off into the land of procrastination. And if things start getting tough, I’m going to remember:

I’m okay. It’ll be alright again…